i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
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All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This is the high leading the old right now
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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