So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
