I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
