mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
