when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize