i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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