I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
