You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize