True but thats because hes a fetus.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize