come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
