quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
