so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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