thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
