he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
