I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize