C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
