You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
