I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
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All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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