Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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