sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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