No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
