omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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