Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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