is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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