just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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