wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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