i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
