Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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