btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
barbara walters just said penis...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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