I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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