Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
