Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
