I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
