I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Terrible idea I love it
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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