Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
