i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
