I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
