If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
