Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
