Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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