Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
