She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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