So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
