Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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