eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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