I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
