The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
