i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
