How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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