I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
