just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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