Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
