i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
