Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
