im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
