did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
