Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize