Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize