the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
