My hand turned me down
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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