So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
