I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
