hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
