are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
