White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
