Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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