So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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